Doormat

/ˈdɔːrmæt/ noun

Definition

A mat placed outside a door to wipe feet on, or figuratively, a person who lets others mistreat them without standing up for themselves.

Etymology

Simple combination of 'door' and 'mat.' The figurative meaning came about because just as a doormat gets walked on literally, such a person allows themselves to be treated with disrespect.

Kelly Says

The metaphor of 'doormat' is so powerful because it's visual—the moment someone says you're being a doormat, you immediately picture yourself lying flat while people walk over you, which captures what it feels like to be disrespected.

Ethical Language Guidance

Gender History

Doormat as a dehumanizing insult is disproportionately applied to women and effeminate men, conflating passivity with emasculation or female servility. The gendered abuse reflects historical power dynamics.

Inclusive Usage

Avoid as an insult in professional/formal contexts. If critiquing someone's behavior, be specific: 'not asserting boundaries' rather than gendered name-calling that implies weakness is feminine.

Inclusive Alternatives

["pushover","non-assertive","conflict-avoidant"]

Empowerment Note

Women historically coerced into compliance are not inherently weak; reframing refusal to dominate as moral choice, not feminine failure, honors agency.

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