Pity

/ˈpɪti/ noun

Definition

Pity is a feeling of sadness or sympathy for someone who is suffering or in trouble.

Etymology

From Old French 'pite', from Latin 'pietas' meaning 'kindness, dutifulness, compassion'. It originally carried a strong sense of moral duty to help those in distress.

Kelly Says

We say 'what a pity' so casually that we forget it once meant a deep moral pull to care for others. That’s why some people dislike being pitied—it can feel like someone is looking down from a position of safety.

Ethical Language Guidance

Gender History

"Pity" has been used in gendered ways, often framing women as objects of pity in narratives about dependence or victimhood, while discouraging men from seeking help by stigmatizing them as pitiable. It can reinforce power imbalances between the one who pities and the one pitied.

Inclusive Usage

Use "pity" carefully, as it can be patronizing; when discussing hardship, focus on empathy and solidarity rather than one-sided pity, regardless of the person’s gender.

Inclusive Alternatives

["empathy","compassion","sympathy"]

Related Words

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