Assertive

/əˈsɜːrtɪv/ adjective

Definition

Someone who is assertive expresses their needs, opinions, and rights clearly and confidently, without being rude or aggressive.

Etymology

It comes from *assert* plus the suffix *-ive*, which forms adjectives meaning 'having the quality of'. So assertive literally means 'having the quality of asserting'.

Kelly Says

Assertiveness is the sweet spot between being passive and being aggressive. It’s like saying, 'I matter and so do you,' and that balance is surprisingly rare—and powerful—in everyday communication.

Ethical Language Guidance

Gender History

“Assertive” has been applied unevenly across genders: behavior praised as assertive in men has often been labeled aggressive or unfeminine in women and gender minorities. This reflects workplace and social biases rather than the word’s inherent meaning.

Inclusive Usage

Apply “assertive” consistently across genders, and be cautious about coded criticism that targets women or marginalized people for behavior accepted in others.

Inclusive Alternatives

["confident","direct","self-assured"]

Empowerment Note

Women and gender-diverse people who challenge norms by being assertive have expanded expectations of who can lead and speak directly in public and professional life.

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