Defensive describes actions meant to protect against attack or criticism. It can also describe a person who reacts quickly to protect themselves, even when no real threat is present.
It comes from Latin “defensivus,” from “defendere,” “to defend, protect.” The core idea is being prepared to ward off harm.
Being defensive can be wise armor or unnecessary overreaction, depending on how real the threat is. The tricky part is that your brain often can’t tell the difference in the moment—it just knows it feels attacked.
The term 'defensive' in interpersonal contexts has often been used in gendered ways, with women more likely to be labeled 'overly defensive' or 'emotional' for boundary-setting, while similar behavior in men may be framed as assertive. This reflects broader patterns of policing women’s tone and emotional expression.
Use 'defensive' descriptively for specific behaviors or communication patterns, not as a gendered stereotype. Be cautious about applying it differently based on gendered expectations of emotion.
["self-protective","guarded","reactive","resistant"]
Feminist and gender studies scholars, many of them women, have highlighted how labeling women as 'defensive' can delegitimize their valid concerns and self-advocacy.
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