Tender

/ˈtɛndər/ adjective

Definition

Tender means gentle, kind, or loving in behavior or feelings. It can also mean soft or easily damaged, like tender skin or tender meat.

Etymology

From Old French *tendre* 'soft, delicate, loving', from Latin *tener* 'soft, delicate, young'. Over time it came to describe both softness of body and softness of emotion.

Kelly Says

Tenderness connects physical softness and emotional softness: a tender steak and a tender hug share the same core idea. When something is tender, it’s powerful precisely because it could be easily hurt.

Ethical Language Guidance

Gender History

'Tender' has been gendered in many cultures, with tenderness expected and rewarded in women while discouraged or stigmatized in men. This has contributed to undervaluing emotional labor and care work, often performed by women.

Inclusive Usage

Apply 'tender' to emotions and behavior across genders; avoid using it to police or stereotype how men, women, or nonbinary people 'should' express care.

Inclusive Alternatives

["gentle","soft","kind","sensitive","offer (for bids)"]

Empowerment Note

Women have provided vast amounts of tender care in families, health, and communities, often without pay or recognition, sustaining social systems.

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