Toughen

/ˈtʌfən/ verb

Definition

To make something or someone stronger, harder, or more able to handle difficult situations; to become tougher.

Etymology

From Old English 'toh,' meaning strong or hard to break, becoming the adjective 'tough,' and then -en to make it a verb meaning to become or make tough.

Kelly Says

We use 'toughen up' as a metaphor for emotional resilience now, but it originally just meant making material physically harder—that's how language evolves from concrete to abstract.

Ethical Language Guidance

Gender History

Toughness is culturally coded masculine; asking girls/women to 'toughen up' dismisses legitimate harm and enforces emotional suppression as strength.

Inclusive Usage

Use 'build resilience,' 'develop skills,' or 'process experience' for neutral framing. Don't conflate toughness with dismissing pain or avoiding support.

Inclusive Alternatives

["build resilience","develop coping skills","strengthen response capacity"]

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